Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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