Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
