tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
