Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
