erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She told me I should be a condom model.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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