Christians are straight up FREAKS
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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