it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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