Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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