My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just puked most of my soul out..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
