you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize