you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
worst night to have a conscience
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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