They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
