There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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