My nipple is on Facebook.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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