I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
