I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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