If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
