After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
