You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize