yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You need Xanax blowdarts
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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