It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
