you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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