ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this will be a night to untag.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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