Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
