Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
