I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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