It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
