So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Bring me that man meat
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
