I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize