do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
