Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize