I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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