dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think I am morally bankrupt
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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