dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
