They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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