i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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