I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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