sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
