First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
