i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Can I color on your dick again?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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