Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
