i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
