we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
