So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
