I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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