she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
