I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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