Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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