The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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