Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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