Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
