Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
