ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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