the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize