Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my shit smells like andre
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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