Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
