i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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