R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize