it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize