that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
