Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
