i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
