He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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