Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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