Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Someone signed my nipple.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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